fbpx

How to Mature and Why You’d Want To

I’ve never had glasses.

I’ve never had my eyes checked – no need!

“They also screen for eye diseases, you should go,” the family said.

My youthful eyes went in, confident that they would be able to read even the tiniest row of letters

– and they came out with bifocals.

And then I had my day of reckoning with my skin.

So many wrinkles, so much texture – I started microneedling.

If you don’t know what that is, look it up. It feels like it sounds.

I’ve been lamenting lately (a nicer way to say complaining) to my husband that everything feels so hard lately.

Everything.

From all directions, life feels like a struggle up a slippery hill.

My normal Jupiterian, optimistic self seems to have been replaced recently.

Restrictions and limitations seem to be lurking around every corner.

So much so that yesterday – while trying to write this newsletter about a completely different topic – I felt so sober about life that I wondered out loud: “WHAT is going on with Saturn?”

“This HAS to be what Saturn feels like!”

I opened my chart with the current transits and there it was.

Zero-degree Saturn opposition.

My natal Saturn is looking square in the eyes of the currently-moving Saturn.

The ultra-serious, disciplined, challenge-loving part of me is being confronted and asked to double down on tackling struggles and slog through the tedium of life.

In plain speak – it’s challenging my maturity.

Transiting (currently moving) Saturn is facing off with my natal Saturn (in my chart) and asking it to assess my level of adultness.

In what areas am I avoiding things that I shouldn’t?

Where in life am I not pushing myself, stepping into the “elder” role, and not taking care of business?

“Saturn brings us gifts but it may feel like we don’t want them.”

I scrapped the other newsletter I’d started to investigate why this Saturn opposition feels like such a kick-in-the-face.

“Maturity” is at my doorstep and won’t stop knocking.

So in this newsletter, I’m exploring:

  1. what maturity means
  2. why it can be hard to accept
  3. and how to find out where in life I need to ask more of myself.

What is maturity?

For me, maturity seems like a hard concept.

By nature, I am independent, fiery, creative, and spontaneous.

I value those things about myself.

The idea of maturing feels like handing over my youth and spirit to doldrums and drudgery.

This may be part of my problem.

Because when I started investigating this idea of maturity, I realized it isn’t only about color coding your files and working at a job you hate.

Maturity takes many forms:

  • Emotional maturity
  • Boundary setting
  • Working hard
  • Keeping our word
  • Taking care of body and home
  • Sticking with things
  • Overlooking people’s faults if it doesn’t hurt you or someone else
  • Sticking up for yourself when it matters
  • Admitting what we don’t know or our failures
  • Taking responsibility to make something better, even if we didn’t break it
  • Living with integrity
  • Patience
  • Putting priorities in the “right order”

Maturity is less about tedium and more about stepping into a new role – the wise elder.

Being the wise elder doesn’t have to be a boring, crusty workaholic.

They ask more of themselves in every way so that they can hold the torch for others.

They are a leader without even having to try – their wisdom speaks for itself.

“If a man going down into a river, swollen and swiftly flowing, is carried away by the current — how can he help others across?”

-Buddha

I don’t even pretend to be educated on Buddhism, but I do know that Buddha is often depicted as laughing and beaming with joy.

So a truly wise elder isn’t unhappy.

Maturity is something I understood better when I thought about it in oppositions.

  • restraint over reactivity
  • patience over haste
  • discipline over flightiness
  • realism over wishful thinking
  • duty to others over self-centeredness
  • integrity over twisting the truth

Why is maturing necessary?

There are obvious reasons that maturing is necessary in society.

Who wants to live in a world where grown-ups throw temper tantrums and only care about themselves?

No one.

But how does maturation benefit the individual?

  • Living up to your potential
  • Feeling achievement and creating a “great work” or legacy somewhere in life
  • Seeing growth as a state of being
  • Accepting what is inevitable with grace and strength
  • Being an elder to the world that others can look to
  • Leaving the world a better place than you found it

“A mature and meaningful life is about being useful. It is about adding value to the world. If you do, your life will have meaning, no matter what you do.”

-Sissel from League of Adults

I am beginning to feel better about my Saturn opposition and what it’s asking of me.

But with all of these benefits, why do I sometimes feel so apprehensive about this process?

Why can maturing feel so hard?

Logically, I know I am aging.

And I do want to embody the “wise elder” at some point.

Striving to mature offers benefits for myself and the people in my life.

So why can the thought of maturity feel so soul-crushing?

  • Maturity can feel like a series of hard lessons
  • Letting go of youth can be tough – change is hard
  • Maturity isn’t valued as much as youth in many societies
  • Maturity forces us to look harder at ourselves which can be unpleasant
  • Maturity makes us feel like we have limited choices, limitations aren’t fun
  • Payoffs from maturity are more long-term, lacking the shiny allure of short-term pleasures

“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.”

-Tom Stoppard

My many, Jupiter-flavored placements in my natal chart whisper in my ear to be like the pony that jumps the fence.

Gallop free and don’t worry about tomorrow!

But I am realizing that a pony has to eat and there’s guaranteed food at home.

My pony friends might worry about me when I’m gone.

And after a while, running free starts to feel empty.

When my knees start hurting and I can’t gallop like I used to, what will I have then?

My Saturn opposition has been shoving this down my throat, but I get the message.

I need to start accepting my new “more mature” role in society, but how do I lean into that more?

How do I become more mature?

What kinds of maturity does the world need from me the most?

And when might I experience my greatest “maturity tests”?

My Saturn opposition pushed me down this rabbit hole to begin with, so that is where I will begin – with my chart.

  • NATAL SATURN
    • Saturn’s House: This house shines a light on the types of activities and experiences that “ask more of you.” These areas may feel challenging but also hold great rewards with hard work.
    • Saturn’s Sign: This sign describes how Saturn wants you to operate – the style it prefers you work in – when approaching the experiences of its house.
    • Your natal Saturn is a lifelong evolution through struggle and perseverance – but also where you have great potential.
    • I made a video about Saturn a few months back with a quick description of Saturn through the houses. Find it here.
  • TRANSITING SATURN ASPECTS
    • When transiting (currently moving) Saturn interacts through aspect (creates specific angles with) your natal Saturn – this is a time when Saturn is asking more of you than usual.

      Growing maturity should take center stage.
    • The ages I offer below are averages and could vary by a couple of years, so refer to your own chart for your Saturn transits.
    • Saturn square Saturn: These happen around the ages of 7, 22, 37, 51, 66, and 81.

      This is a period where you may suddenly ask yourself, what am I doing??!? Insecurity may pop up out of nowhere. To navigate this well, take stock of different parts of your life. Look at them from a realistic point of view. What isn’t working? It’s time to weed those things out and keep the things that are serving you well.
    • Saturn opposed Saturn: These happen around the ages of 14, 44, and 74.

      Saturn oppositions can show you if you’re focusing on the right things. If you are moving in the right direction, this may be a time of reward or advancement. If not, it may feel like a struggle or like you are being drug over the rocks. It is a “reap what you have sown” moment. Regardless, it is a refocusing moment. You have another chance to get it right before your next Saturn return.
    • Saturn returns: These happen around the ages of 29, 59, and 89 and are the grand-daddy of Saturn aspects.

      Saturn returns are some of the most influential aspects of your lifetime. Many changes, both beginnings and endings, could dominate this period. You may realize that you have outgrown things, people, or places and feel pulled in new directions that suit you better. These changes can be made consciously, or be made for you if you aren’t aware enough to initiate them.

If you need help understanding the basics of astrology, our Astro Toolkit: Astrology 101 course can get you off to a good start, and it’s now free for everyone.


Click here​ to learn what ​Solar Fire software​ can do for you and how you can get our exclusive discount & bonus package.


Astrology can be a useful tool, but it isn’t everything.

I wanted to get some non-astrology help on my path to being more mature – (or less immature!).

  1. Introspection: One recurring theme from my research on maturity was the need to be introspective. This is “getting real” with what is actually going on inside of us – what are our triggers and what is driving our behavior.

    – I came across a free, printable checklist from St. Mary’s Press where you rate yourself on a wide range of maturity factors.

    While it is a pretty blunt tool, there were a lot of different behaviors listed.

    This gave me a variety of ways to think about maturity and helped me notice more weak spots. You can find it here.

    – Journaling is another great tool for introspection.

    A helpful video from The Magic Atelier has 5 probing journal prompts for developing maturity.

    I enjoyed the entire video, but if you want to cut to the questions you can find them at 1:43. Find the video here.
  2. Goal setting: Another piece I found in this maturity puzzle is to do what you say you’re going to do.

    Part of this is in relation to other people – having your word mean something and living with integrity.

    But an extension of this is telling yourself what you are going to do and then actually doing it.

    Letting ourselves down can seem harmless compared to letting others down.

    But we need to believe in ourselves -our word and our capabilities – as much as we need others to.

    Maybe even more.
  3. Become less reactive: This theme resurfaced over and over in my maturity research.

    Try forcing yourself to pause before you respond to anything.

    Talk less and listen more, unless you’re asking clarifying questions.

    This is restraint.

    And it isn’t the same as keeping quiet or never speaking your opinion or feelings.

    It does allow you to sit for a moment with your emotions that pop up in conversations or situations.

    Even in a couple of seconds, you can ask yourself where this emotion is coming from.

    -Is this emotion something I should act on or act out right now, or sit with more?

    -Should I let these feelings drive my behavior at this moment, or should I not trust them to?

    Restraint is the antidote for reactivity and a hallmark of being in control of yourself.

“‘Age’ is the acceptance of a term of years. But maturity is the glory of years.”

-Martha Graham

One of my biggest takeaways from this exploration is that age doesn’t have much to do with it.

Real maturity is earned.

If anything in this letter resonated with you, we’d love to hear about it! Simply reply to this email.

Share this with others on Twitter here.

Have a fantastic day and much love,